Why "Fed Is Best" for People with ARFID and Feeding Differences
The phrase "Fed is Best" is often used in the infant feeding world, but it applies just as much to people with Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) and other feeding differences. In a society that places so much moral value on food choices, it can be easy to get caught up in what someone “should” be eating rather than focusing on the most important goal—ensuring they are eating enough.
For neurodivergent individuals, including those with ARFID, eating is rarely as simple as "just take a bite" or "you’ll eat when you’re hungry." Sensory processing differences, anxiety, past trauma, or interoceptive differences (the ability to perceive and interpret internal bodily signals e.g. hunger and fullness) can all make food feel overwhelming. When well-meaning advice prioritises a "balanced diet" over meeting the person where they are at, it often leads to increased stress around eating and even further restriction.
Meeting Nutritional Needs Looks Different for Everyone
For someone with ARFID, the goal should always be to ensure adequate nutrition in ways that feel safe and manageable for them. This might mean relying on preferred safe foods and/or supplementing with oral nutrition drinks or other supplements. While diet culture pushes the idea that some foods are “bad” or “less nutritious,” the truth is that all food provides nourishment.
A child who will only eat plain pasta and crackers is still receiving carbohydrates and calories, which are essential for energy and brain function. A teenager who depends on protein nutrition shakes and a limited selection of packaged foods is still getting vital nutrients that help their body grow and function. A neurodivergent adult who relies on a predictable set of "safe foods" is doing what they need to in order to meet their nervous system and nutritional needs. These are not failures; they are valid ways of eating.
Any Nutrition we can get in, is better than nothing, all food, no matter what is is will support the bodies growth and development. All food will contribute to nourishing the body, no matter what it is.
Pressure Leads to Shutdown, Not Progress
Traditional feeding approaches often emphasise variety, balance, and “expanding the diet,” but for someone with ARFID, that pressure can backfire. Pushing unfamiliar foods too soon, using reward systems, or creating a sense of urgency around eating can make meals feel like a battleground. Instead, taking a neuro-affirming approach—where safety, autonomy, and trust are prioritised—allows for sustainable progress.
Rather than focusing on what’s missing from someone’s diet, we should be celebrating what they are eating and creating an environment where they feel safe enough to explore new foods when they are ready and at their own pace.
Small Steps Matter
When we embrace the idea that “Fed is Best,” we acknowledge that progress is not always about food variety. Sometimes, the biggest win is someone feeling comfortable enough to eat in the first place. Maybe they eat a full meal for the first time in days. Maybe they try a new brand of a preferred food. Maybe they don’t experience panic at mealtimes. These are all meaningful wins.
As clinicians, caregivers, and loved ones, we need to let go of rigid ideas about what eating “should” look like and instead focus on what actually supports the individual. When we do this, we make room for a relationship with food that is built on trust, not fear. And that’s where real progress begins.
Written by Margo White, your Melbourne-based neurodiversity affirming clinical nutritionist and Neurodivergent advocate.
This article is intended as general advice only and does not replace medical advice. It is recommended that you seek personalised advice specific to your individual needs.
