Navigating unhelpful comments around food

Do friends or family weigh in on you or your child’s eating habits? This can be really tough to navigate and can cause a lot of anxiety and shame around mealtimes. I've come up with a couple of scripts to help you navigate this time. I hope they are helpful.

1.Dessert

“You can’t have dessert until you finish your plate.”

Response:

“I’m sure you mean well but we trust XXX to know how much food their body needs. We don’t force them to eat anything.”

2. Eating your vegetables

“You must eat your vegetables—they’re good for you! Not too many sweets—they’re bad for you!”

Response:

“I know you mean well, but we find comments like this to be unhelpful. Different foods do different things for our bodies, and we let XXX eat what they want and what feels safe for them. Thanks for understanding.”

3. Picky eating assumptions

“You are such a picky eater”

"Thank you for your concern however, XXX is actually not picky, they just eat the foods that make them feel regulated and safe. It’s normal and okay to have different ways of eating.”

4. Questioning how much you eat

“Is that all you’re eating?”

Response:

“My plate is not up for discussion”.

If any comments around food come up that make you feel unsettled or unsafe, it is also okay to simply leave the conversation or tell people to mind their own business.

This article is intended as general advice only and does not replace medical advice. It is recommended that you seek personalised advice specific to your individual needs.

Written by Margo White, your Melbourne-based neurodiversity affirming clinical nutritionist and ND advocate. If you’d like to book a consultation with me, schedule an appointment below.